Standards – everybody has them and they are important in our society because they keep things in order and, in general, tell us what’s good and what’s bad. The word standard is synonymous to “rule”, “principal” and “ideal” which all have a more positive connotation. However, in the area of dating, when do these standards get in the way of a potential relationship? Do you have false dating standards?
When False Dating Standards Get In The Way
Either consciously or subconsciously, we all have desired characteristics for the people that we would like to meet. These are what we call standards. If we tweak the definition a little bit and make it into a prerequisite condition set for the people that we want to meet, this is now what we call a dating standard. Here are a few examples that clearly depict these kinds of standards:
1. I will only date someone with a stable job.
2. I will only date someone who is unselfish.
3. I will only date someone who has a compatible personality with mine.
4. I will only date someone who is emotionally mature.
Believe us when we say that the list goes on so let’s just stick to these four.
Now, these four standards required for a successful online relationship sound very reasonable, but here’s when you interpret these standards into something totally different:
1. I will only date someone with a stable job that makes six figures.
2. I will only date someone who is unselfish. He has to put me first above all else.
3. I will only date someone who has a compatible personality with mine – I have a checklist.
4. I will only date someone who is emotionally mature and he has to understand my fits.
We know that these sound absurd, but most of the time, we are completely unaware that we interpret our dating standards this way, allowing them to become false dating standards.
What to do
If you’ve found yourself thinking about the dating standards you have, please, do an honest assessment. Be honest with yourself if you’ve found your dating standards to be too much or to be false. When you do that, you can simply bring your standards down into a more realistic level. This will greatly improve your chances of getting a better perspective on things and of finding a partner that will also do the same for you.
Whatever standards you may have, just remember that they need to be realistic. It will also help that you do an honest assessment of yourself and see if those standards were to be measured up to you. Having standards is not bad, not at all. They just have to be realistic, mature and honest.
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