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What the heck is a SPARK? If you’re asking this question then you probably aren’t a fan of romantic comedies. A spark is basically chemistry between two people. It’s unexplainable and it can also be referred to as a zing, a click, and “it” (yes, just “it”). But how crucial is it, really, especially when you are doing your love search online?

Most of the time, people (especially women) view love as this: having a zing, a spark and a click. If you meet someone but didn’t experience the click or spark, it’s not meant to be. This notion is very common especially in today’s generation, however, we don’t entirely agree with this concept.

How The Find The Magic in Your Love Search Online

Don’t get us wrong. We believe in the zing but what we don’t buy is the instantaneity of it. We believe that you can develop the zing that you want with no additional fairy dust or magic tricks required. Besides, there are a lot of factors why you’re not connecting with your online date. It could be your choice of words or how you present yourself.

1. Take off your mask.

You may be putting a whole lot of importance on placing your best foot forward. Instead of having naturally interesting conversations, you name drop and possibly add in money to the conversation in order for you to sound very impressive – a catch if you may. Stop. Take off your mask and just be yourself.

2. Too much, too soon.

We’re still on the subject of putting your best foot forward. What you do now is you talk about yourself and then you talk about yourself some more. After a few minutes, you talk about yourself. You want the other person to know as many details about yourself as possible. It’s great that you’re being honest but don’t you think that it may be a little too much for yourself too soon? Give the other person a chance to talk and just stick to simple “get to know each other” topics.

3. Say all the right things at exactly the right time.

Yes, these are lyrics from a Vertical Horizon song. This is one thing that’s stopping you from actually connecting with the other person you’re chatting with. You’re too busy thinking about what to say next that you don’t really focus on your date or on the other person that much. You’re being too concerned about what words to use and when to use them. Again, our advice is to relax. Let it flow naturally.

What if there’s still no spark?

A valid question. The truth is, you won’t have the spark or even develop a spark with everybody. Don’t force it if it’s not there. After giving it a chance (a real chance), if it’s still not there then it’s time to move on. Don’t over-analyze it too much.